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If You Love Something


DOG PEE
There once was a dog who loved to pee
Every year made his way to our Christmas tree
Last year when Santa did come
And seeing what the pooch has done
Said something now the dog wets on me!

Ever since then i’ve had to look out
Something is happening theres no doubt
Its my rotten kids leading the way
They’re laughing as the dog lifts its leg
A bad dog and kids I could do without!

All the wife does is just stand there
With me afraid to sit in my chair
In my recliner I don’t bother to sleep
As I never know when the dog will creep
I’m tired looking for clean pants to wear!

Yes i admit this is no fun
I yell at the kids and they just run
All this is beginning to be a pain
One more time it will be hard to refrain
If that dog does it again i’ll get my gun!

Now here I am no longer free
Just why couldn’t I let it be
I knew the judge wouldn’t have a smile
The family looks on watching the trial
Just look at what that darn dog did to me!

Here’s how i landed up in court
Someone called in and made a report
Oh I didn’t hurt the animal at all
When seeing me i could not blame the law
I was arrested for being outside in my shorts!

Last pair of pants he did it once more
Truth me known, ran outside nothing I wore
If not for the family would be no pets
Then again to deny, I would totally regret
Why I adopted Pee Wee, they got what they asked for!